Today I simply want everyone (anyone) who reads my blog posts to watch Liz Gilbert talk about the elusive creative genius. The video is provided below. Then, if you like it or don't like it, you can read my thoughts about it below. And if you agree or disagree with my thoughts or what Liz Gilbert says, than we can start a conversation, either in this blog thread or on twitter, which is where I do the majority of my social media interactions.
I am a writer
All my life, I've wanted to be a writer. But I couldn't just say, even as a kid, I want to be a writer. I had to come up with other things that I wanted to be: a teacher, an astronaut, a farmer. Like Liz, I had people asking me if I was afraid to be a writer. Could I support myself? What if I don't get published? What if your books aren't successful? Why would you choose to be a starving artist?
As a kid, I wasn't so much, but as I got older and actually started writing and/or learning about the adult world, I got scared. Those questions made more and more sense to me, and I fell into the "what-if" syndrome.
Now that I'm much older and (maybe) a bit more wiser and have an established career as an ESL teacher, as a source of income to sustain me in my writing and pick me up should I fail, am I still afraid? Yes. Of course I am.
Protective Psychological Construct
Liz talks about how her success is probably behind her, and she has had to find a way to help her psychologically trick herself into not giving up--- because she wants to keep doing what she loves doing. For me, my future is ahead of me. I'm still young, but I almost feel like I've waited too long to start in on this life-long dream of becoming a published author. Why wasn't I writing more "shitty" drafts (to use Anne Lemott's words) or why wasn't I taking creative writing classes while I was studying for my MTESOL? The same can be said about my drumming, which I finally got serious about doing a few years ago, and not in high school.
It could be natural for me to stop while I'm ahead. Writing is hard. Being a creative genius (to use Liz's words) is intimidating and daunting. So why do I write?
I love language. I love words. I love stories. I was talking to a friend today, and she said, "Kassie, your love for reading is contagious. It makes me want to read more." She also said she can see my passion for stories, for writing. It's in my blood. It's in my soul. I want to be a writer, as scary as that may be.
My motivations for writing come from my reading, from my past (small) successes in writing. I believe with practice, with grit (another great video), I will get there. Eventually.
Catching the Poem
Can I just say how much I love that part in Liz's talk about catching the poem, like a "barreling train of air." I don't know if I've experienced that in as much degree as she describes, and I haven't ever caught a poem backwards before, but I've had ah-ha moments. I live for those.
More often than not, my process is more like the artist she talks about, who is driving. He needs to tell the inspiration to come back when it's a more opportune moment. I've had those. Most the time when that happens, I beg it to stay until I am able to write it down, and sometimes I can.
Continue to Show-Up: Do your Job!
Liz's passion for showing up to do the job is something I try to do every day. Recently, I've set aside at least two hours of writing a day. With school starting up, it's been tricky to keep to that schedule (like my drum phone calls). And sometimes, even during that one or two hours I'm sitting there, I don't always get the best out of me. And that's okay. At least I'm showing up. At least I'm doing my "job."
This video is somewhat old, but the content, I think is very poignant, so I hope you enjoyed it, too, and we can remember why we write, why we dream, why we do creative things.
"There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit down... and bleed."
"Mongkok Street, Hong Kong"